DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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