Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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