Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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