What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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