She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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