He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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