I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
