I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
