brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
