No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
