Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
