it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
