I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
