In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
