i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
