Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
