In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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