Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
