So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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