all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
