just come out here and I will go home with you...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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