the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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