I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
