Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
