Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
