big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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