maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
