Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
