I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
