No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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