man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
