It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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