I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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