Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
