Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
