I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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