Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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