; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
