Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
