I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
