You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
