I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
