The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
