you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
