i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
