I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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