I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
