I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
