i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
