Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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