At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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